Trust no one

When it comes to believing information furnished by the media, I think I fall somewhere in between “healthy sceptic” and “ruggedly handsome”. You can’t be too trusting when it comes to things like scientific studies. You may think that because they stick the word “scientific” in there that it has to be true, unbiased and based on impartial observation and data gathering. I was shocked to learn that the “Institute for Hating Puerto Ricans” released a scientific study finding that over 98% of Puerto Rican’s were “a bunch of jerks.” This was followed by another report by the group “Scottish Terrier Lovers” who discovered through scientific studies that “Scottish Terriers are great dogs.”

Of course the above is a fictional account, because obviously everyone loves Puerto Ricans and hates Scottish Terriers, but in reality, many think tanks and groups aren’t all that unbiased when they release their reports. Even so, in a rare show of scepticism, the scientific community was up in arms a few years ago when my mother reported that “Frank Kress is a wonderful, talented young man.”

But not everyone is as honest and forthright as my mom. When confronted with information released by anyone, you have to ask the question, “cui bono?” which is Latin for “Who the hell is that Irish Pop Star?” Actually, it means “Who benefits?” For example, when a large group of scientists get a gazillion dollars in funding for their research on climate change, they will probably release some studies that support not only what they believe, but also make it quite clear that the truth can only be found with some more funding. Not much funding goes to other groups of scientists who say, “There’s nothing going on with climate change – history has shown that the climate changes, so what?” People who say, “Everything is all right” don’t get any dough. There’s no money in things being just fine. Thus the debate goes on and who are you going to believe? Personally, I believe in the first group, the ones that say bad things are going on, because they’re obviously smarter. The second group must be idiots because they aren’t bright enough to get that sweet moolah they hand out for environmental studies. How can you trust someone that dumb?

The point that I’m trying to get across is that you should always be a little bit sceptical, because that’s healthy, but only a little bit of scepticism is good, otherwise you won’t believe everything I say, no matter how crazy it may sound. Me you can trust, the other guys… ehhh, not so much. Being too sceptical may lead to ulcers and paranoia and being too trusting leads to purchasing time share condominiums. Personally, as sceptical as I can be, I’m actually quite naïve, like when someone says, “Frank, you look good in that shirt” but they say it with a nasty little smirk and roll their eyes, I still believe them, because let’s face it, that shirt suits me.

The important thing in life is to find that happy medium or medium rare depending on the cut of beef.