Recently, every single viewer of the CBC was polled on what they love about the government operated and taxpayer funded network. Eight of the respondents said they love the unique, Canadian perspective and the other four people said, “Hockey Night in Canada.” The delicate point, in case you missed it because you were watching “The Tudors”, is that there is no earthly reason why the CBC is still around. Before you go off on the need for culturally prevalent programming, let me remind you that TSN ably covers the NHL games. Because let’s face it, Hockey Night in Canada is the only reason that huge waste of taxpayer dollars is still around… that and the petitions from every talentless writer, actor, director, etc. that isn’t good enough to get a job in the States.
You may be wondering what had caused this deep irritation with the beloved CBC? What brought on this rant against this most hallowed of Canadian institutions? I’m so glad you didn’t really ask. It was the fact that as I was madly scanning the channels on my way to quality programming, I came across “The Don Cherry Story”, a made for TV (sorry, not TV – since no other channel would play that dreck) made for the CBC movie about a hockey commentator who apparently was a pretty average player, then a below average coach, who because of his colorful take on the game became a commentator (who is on the air about seven minutes a week for six months of the year). Don’t get me wrong, as a hockey fan I love Don Cherry’s commentary, but as a subject for a movie? Is this country that lame that we have to make movies about hockey commentators?
The answer of course, is NO! We aren’t that lame at all! We have a ton of movie worthy people, places and things that would suffice. But the CBC, in its bloated sense of self-importance, treating itself as the last defender of Canadian culture, doesn’t give a shit what it puts on the air because they don’t care if they have a viewership of twelve people, they make/take their money from YOU! You, you stupid taxpayer, you fund the CBC. You pay for the six figure executives and “performers” (currently over 100 of them) and you pay for the production of simply awful TV shows, radio programmes in foreign languages (I’m not even counting French), news programs that are so biased for whatever governing party is writing their cheques and of course disgustingly terrible made for CBC movies.
As humans (much more so as Canadians) we hate change. More so, we hate to admit that our culture is primarily derived from those idiots to the south. Because of these factors, we will never put forth any kind of outcry for getting rid of the CBC. We think that if we do, the ghosts of Wayne & Shuster will rise up and pelt us with beavers (and not the good kind, the kind with pelts – get it?) We feel like our identity is wrapped around maintaining our cultural icons. Which I get… but what I don’t understand is that as long as there’s a Tim Horton’s on every corner, we have our cultural identity in good hands and those good hands are wrapped around a double double. We just don’t need the CBC. So when you consider what our tax dollars are paying for (gold plated MP pensions and a huge health care suckhole) you should probably scratch the CBC off the list when you consider their prime time schedule: (taken directly off the tax payer funded website)
6:30 PM Coronation Street - Eps. #7688 & 7689
Peter has some stern words for Carla. Tracy's back. Marcus and Sean say goodbye to Dylan. Frank faces court.
7:30 PM Jeopardy (HD)
Join host Alex Trebek in the most honoured quiz show in television history.
8:00 PM Rick Mercer Report (HD) - Season 9 - Eps 6
Rick and opera star Measha Brueggergosman go whale watching on the Bay of Fundy in St Andrews, New Brunswick and Rick stays on the Bay of Fundy to go jet boating with New Brunswick Premier David Alward at the reversing falls near Saint John.
8:30 PM 22 Minutes (HD) - Series XIX - Eps 7
Alan Thicke joins us as guest host of our look-back-at-the-80's show! Special appearances by Ben Mulroney, David Suzuki, Bob MacDonald and musical guest, The Spoons.
9:00 PM Arctic Air (HD) (DV) - Series 1 - Eps 5 - Northern Lights
A drug overdose in a remote community leads Bobby and Mel to a disturbing discovery about Arctic Air's involvement.
10:00 PM The National (HD)
The award-winning live newscast anchored by CBC News chief correspondent Peter Mansbridge.
10:55 PM CBC News: Late Night
Coverage of your local late night news.
11:05 PM George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight (HD) - Guests: Clara Hughes; Dave Bidini
George interviews Clara Hughes and Dave Bidini.
Seriously, Coronation Street?! First of all, you can watch it on the BBC (let the British pay for that shite). Secondly, I hope Carla isn’t too put off by Peter’s stern words. Sounds like heady stuff.
Jeopardy? You can watch it on a channel that actually has to sell advertising to make money. “I’ll take “a billion dollar crap sandwich” for $200.” and the question is, “What is the CBC?”
Rick Mercer. I’m sorry, you aren’t funny enough to pay to visit the Bay of Fundy. But since you’re there, please stay.
22 Minutes. I wonder how much this crappy show costs per minute. Probably a lot to pay for high end musical talent like The Spoons.
Arctic Air. I can watch real Ice Pilots on the History Channel, which leads Bobby and Mel to a disturbing discovery about how no one watches their show.
The National: Um, other channels carry the news, right? You do know that “award winning” means a Gemini right? Didn’t the CBC invent the Gemini’s?
CBC News: Yay, more news coverage. Apparently every network has a news channel… if there was no CBC, we would only have 87 other news channels to watch.
George Stroumboloulopoulos Tonight: When did George wake up one day and decide he was too smart for Much Music? Don’t get me wrong, I need to know what’s going on with retired Olympian Clara Hughes and Dave Bidini (whoever that is). I like how they actually have to explain that George is interviewing them. Would Clara Hughes just skate around the studio and would Dave Bidini… (seriously, who is that guy?)
So there you go… if that is programming that you want to pay for, then please get off my planet. Oh, and please do not support my Blog, I’m shooting for government funding, (or possibly a movie deal).
